I am, actually, on paper. I have an RN, extant in both New York and Ohio. As I say, on paper. I got a good degree with good grades from a good institution. Passed my boards with no problem. The thing was – I loved my job at the time. I would still love it if the job still existed, so I never actually practiced nursing. Now I am in such a corner, at such a damned crossroads with regard to my life slash career… I really could turn this blog into something if I could get past the block in my head, if only to tell my own ridiculous story! Anyway, I don’t want to be a nurse. There, I said it. I did beautifully in clinicals with actual patients, and I am very engaged by medicine, especially of the infectious disease variety. I could be a good nurse. The thing is, though – I love plants. I love agriculture. I love being outside – I love trees and dirt and animals and working my ass off. I love tractors and being muddy and working in the rain – and in the sun. From what I have witnessed regarding the nursing culture? No thank you. I posted a simple question on a popular nursing message board and was piled on by all kinds of nurses in all kinds of ugly ways – over the topic of how nurses treat one another. Answer enough in itself. So. I have been underemployed for nearly two years now – in ag and in a greenhouse setting – but you know? I still want to do it. Probably stupid. Likely stupid. It’s what I’m good at, though. It’s what I’m passionate about. It makes me not want to kill myself. I suspect nursing would have me on the side of a tall bridge before very long.
So I guess we’ll see. I’m supposed to start an RN to BSN program next month, and I have been laid off for the season at the job I care about. Conundrum.