I could be a nurse.

I am, actually, on paper.  I have an RN, extant in both New York and Ohio.  As I say, on paper.  I got a good degree with good grades from a good institution.  Passed my boards with no problem.  The thing was – I loved my job at the time.  I would still love it if the job still existed, so I never actually practiced nursing.  Now I am in such a corner, at such a damned crossroads with regard to my life slash career…  I really could turn this blog into something if I could get past the block in my head, if only to tell my own ridiculous story!  Anyway, I don’t want to be a nurse.  There, I said it.  I did beautifully in clinicals with actual patients, and I am very engaged by medicine, especially of the infectious disease variety.  I could be a good nurse.  The thing is, though – I love plants.  I love agriculture.  I love being outside – I love trees and dirt and animals and working my ass off.  I love tractors and being muddy and working in the rain – and in the sun.  From what I have witnessed regarding the nursing culture?  No thank you.  I posted a simple question on a popular nursing message board and was piled on by all kinds of nurses in all kinds of ugly ways – over the topic of how nurses treat one another.  Answer enough in itself.  So.  I have been underemployed for nearly two years now – in ag and in a greenhouse setting – but you know?  I still want to do it.  Probably stupid.  Likely stupid.  It’s what I’m good at, though.  It’s what I’m passionate about.  It makes me not want to kill myself.  I suspect nursing would have me on the side of a tall bridge before very long.

So I guess we’ll see.  I’m supposed to start an RN to BSN program next month, and I have been laid off for the season at the job I care about.  Conundrum.



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